Things You Didn't Know

In one of my previous blogs, I listed several common perceptions Americans have about Australia. Some of them are fairly accurate, and others are way off. In this post, however, I thought I would focus on things you don’t know about Australia (or at least that I didn’t know before coming here). I may have mentioned some of these things in my previous posts, but rather than go back and read the entire blog, I will take the risk of repeating myself.

1. Australians love to abbreviate words – We had read about this before coming to Australia but had no idea just how prevalent this trend is. If there is any possible way of shortening a word, you can bet the Aussies have figured it out. For example: breakfast = brekky, Woolworths = Woolies, Mackers = McDonalds, footy = football, sunnies = sunglasses, swimmers of bathers = bathing suit, esky = cooler, gents = mens bathroom, and of course barbie = barbecue. For the most part, these abbreviations are fairly logical and you can usually tell what they’re referring to. On the other hand, a few abbreviations require translation such as ‘arvo’ which means afternoon. I’m not sure exactly why the Aussies love to abbreviate so much. Some Aussies claim that its laziness, but I prefer to think of it as a product of the laid back, relaxed culture.

2. One big Vegas – You can literally gamble anywhere and everywhere in Australia. I have yet to find a pub that doesn’t have an entire room filled with ‘pokeys’ (the equivalent of a slot machine) and a wall of TV’s dedicated to horse/dog races. The gambling areas are usually somewhat hidden in the back of the pub, so they won’t jump out at you when you first walk in. But believe me, behind some door and somewhere nearby, there is some gambling going on. In addition to the Pokeys and the races, one can also legally bet on any Aussie sporting event. Rather than waste your time looking for a bookie, just jump on one of the websites that are commonly advertised on TV. That’s right, TV commercials for sports gambling sites. If you need to know the line for the game, don’t worry, it will be displayed on the TV broadcast before the start of the game. Despite the limitless opportunities to gamble, it doesn’t really seem to be a huge problem here, and most of the Aussies I have met don’t gamble at all.

3. Aussie Sports – This one deserves an entire post of its own, and one day I will get around to writing it. Until then, I will give you a brief rundown. Rugby, Cricket, and Aussie Rules Football (AFL) are the major sports in Oz. Cricket has lost popularity in the modern era, and I only feel the need to say one thing about this ridiculous game. The typical version of cricket has matches that last for 5 days. 5 days!!!! As if that’s not bad enough, the two teams can play for all five days and have the game end as no result. I don’t mean a tie, I mean no result. It goes down in the books as if the game were never even played. I challenge you to find anything more absurd than that. Good luck. The two dominant sports here are rugby and AFL. At some point, most of you have probably seen rugby on TV, but I doubt you have ever even heard of the AFL. It originated in Melbourne, and according to most Melbournians, it is THE sport in Australia. Sydney on the other hand prefers the National Rugby League (NRL), which is a slightly different version of traditional rugby. Depending on where you find yourself in Australia, or who you’re talking to for that matter, “footy” refers to either rugby or AFL or even soccer. As an outsider being exposed to numerous different sports all at once, this can be quite confusing. On top of that, there are two versions of rugby played in Australia, each with a different set of rules. I won’t go into further detail for now, but expect a lengthy post on Aussie sports in the near future.

4. Less Censorship – When compared to the United States, there is much less censorship in Australia. For one, news broadcasts show much more graphic images than do those in the States. Nudity is far less taboo, and on the front page of the Sydney Herald a couple months ago was a picture, albeit very small, of two topless women. The article was a protest of some sort, but the fact that the picture made the front page was quite surprising. In addition, there are several nude beaches in the area. Completely unedited reruns of the show Entourage are shown on the Arena channel, the equivalent to the USA channel, and four-letter words on any TV or radio program are much less likely to get beeped out.

5. Minimum Wage – The national minimum wage in Australia is $15.00/hour. Sure this results in having to pay a bit more for things, but there are some very positive side effects. For example, people have more pride in their jobs and are not as bitter as they would be if they were being paid, say…..$7.25/hour. Why does this matter? A good way to put it into perspective is a comparison between two well known establishments: Wendy’s and Chick-Fil-A. I will assume you have been to both. If not, turn off the computer, stand up, and immediately go treat yourself to a Frosty and a chicken biscuit. Mmmm…..chicken biscuits. And get some fries to dip in your Frosty. I know, it sound gross, it's not, it's good. Really good. Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, on one hand you have the Wendy’s in Charleston where the Frosty machine is always “broken” after 9 pm, which is code for we already cleaned it because we want to get the hell out of here. And there was that one time when my request for ketchup was met with the response “We out.” No apology, just a tone that seemed to say “I couldn’t care less if you want ketchup, and how dare you even ask.” Then there is Chick-Fil-A where, despite the long lines, your food is ready before you can get the money out of your wallet, and it is always served with a smile. Chick-Fil-A has created a better work environment by providing higher wages for management roles as compared to Wendy's. All I’m saying is that a little extra pay makes all the difference in the world. Workers are happier, and it gives the customer a much more pleasant experience. Not to mention the fact that it creates a society with a lot less people below the poverty line. On the other hand, at $7.25/hour, a full-time employee working 52 weeks a year would only earn $15,080/year before taxes. No wonder they’re so bitter.

6. Parliamentary System – The Australian form of government is very similar to England’s, and I won’t bore you with all the details on how it works. Not that I actually even know all the details. Anyway, the one item worth mentioning is the fact that specific leaders are not elected, but rather a party is voted into power. During an election, the party leader is certainly marketed like a candidate would be in the states, but your vote is for the party, not the Prime Minister. The big difference is that the Prime Minister can be replaced at any time by their own party. And that’s exactly what happened to the former Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, in June of this year. On the evening news I heard that one of the cabinet members, Julia Gillard, was forcing a leadership ballot to possibly replace Rudd. I figured that like anything in politics it would take months to sort out. I was wrong. At roughly 2:00 pm the next day, Australia had a new Prime Minister. Just like that. Out of nowhere, and literally overnight, we had a new Prime Minister in Australia and the first female one in history. Another unique thing is that there is no specific date for an election, and it is decided on by the party in power. Therefore, when their popularity is strong they can call an election. Makes no sense.

7. Politically Correct? – The Australians are not exactly what you would call politically correct, at least not when compared to the States. For example, on most city buses the symbol for a handicapped person is not the seated stick figure in a wheelchair you are used to seeing, but rather a man whose leg is missing at the knee. To indicate a crossing frequented by the elderly, you might see a sign of a man hunched over with one hand on his back and the other on his cane. These symbols are not meant to be disrespectful in any way, but are rather a product of a more laid back and less sensitive culture. If people took offense to it, I’m sure they would change it, but nobody seems to mind or even notice. Oh yeah, and then there is this....
Blake has also informed me that the word "poo" is often used during official presentations at her lab. It's good to know that the scientific community has decided to go with a third-grade word instead of say...fecal sample. Another example of the Aussies lack of political correctness is an incident involving Harry Connick Jr. last year. Connick was invited to be a guest star at a 10-year reunion of a sketch comedy show called Hey Hey it’s Saturday. I did not see the show, but apparently one of the skits was a parody on the Jackson Five. The characters painted their faces black for the skit, and Connick, who was obviously offended said, “If they showed up looking like that in the United States, it’d be Hey Hey There’s no more show.” Needless to say, the cultural differences were quite apparent.

8. A Young Country – As of the year 1900, Australia was still under British rule. It wasn’t until 1901 that it actually became a nation. Until then, each state basically functioned as autonomous colonies, and in many ways they still do. Some public holidays are different in each state. Only a portion of Australia observes daylight savings time, so depending on which time of year it is Sydney is either 2 or 3 hours ahead of Perth. Oh, and the Central Standard Time is only 30 minutes behind the Eastern Standard Time. Where it really gets strange is when you look at the railroads in Australia. Historically, each state used a different gauge (width) for the railroads, meaning that trains in one state would not function on the rails in another state. Cargo travelling across the country would have to be offloaded from one train and loaded onto another at state lines. Only recently have most of the gauges been standardized; however, it is still an ongoing process. Some rail lines are not functional to this day because of varying track widths.

9. Meat Raffle - The concept of a raffle is certainly nothing new. In the States, you see them quite often. There are generally a wide variety of prizes including electronics, a gift certificate, a bar tab, or free food. The Aussies, however, do it differently. Instead of giving away a free meal at a restaurant, they raffle off the "meat tray," an assortment of raw steaks, sausages, lamb chops, etc... Some of you may have seen this before (I hear they do it in Minnesota) but it was certainly new to me. Who raffles off a big tray of raw meat at the bar? And who wants to carry raw meat around all night? But it could be worse. In some areas of Australia, they have taken it up a notch and raffled off an entire living cow. I don't even know what to say about that.

10. An Over Dependence on Cutlery - Australians seem to eat everything with a knife and fork. Such a prim and proper behavior seems at odds with typical Australian culture, and must without a doubt be a remnant of its British heritage. I mean, where else in the world can you walk shoeless into a coffee shop and draw no attention, but then stand out like a sore thumb for using your hands to eat a muffin. I think the epitome of this phenomenon occurred during our first few weeks in Australia. Seated at the table next to us, and on what appeared to be a first date, was a young couple eating chips and salsa with a knife and fork. Really? How is that even possible? I know one thing though, this guy would feel right at home in Australia.

Our First Visitors (Part II)

The next morning we walked the quiet streets of Young looking for some breakfast while keeping an eye out for possibly the strangest store in the world. We had read about it in Bill Bryson's book "Down Under" written more than 10 years ago (you may have noticed that I keep mentioning this book-I highly recommend that you read it-just don't hold my blog up to that standard). As described by Bryson, this shop was a pet store in the front and an adult shop in the back. Surely, such an odd combination of goods could not have survived for more than a decade. Oh, but it did. And you couldn't miss it. I had assumed that the adult section would be "hush-hush," and only apparent once in the store. We were, after all, on Main St. in a small town. However, Herrett's Book Shop and Aquarium was anything but discreet, and the storefront made every possible effort to draw attention to exactly what was going on inside. Can you imagine if Herrett decided to franchise, and open his second store on Main St. in some place like....Danville? You wouldn't be able to drive down the street for all the protesters. Now I'm not saying the world needs a second store like this (or even a first one for that matter), but I do find it interesting that small town Aussies are apparently laid back enough to allow such a place.

Heading out of Young, we drove for about an hour in the direction of the coast before making a slight detour to visit Canberra (pronounced Can-bruh), the capital of Australia. We had been warned by nearly everyone who had been to Canberra that it wasn't worth the trip. In fact, I think it's the only place in Australia that people will tell you not to visit. Nevertheless, our route was going right by the city, and we figured we might as well give it a shot. It's an inland city located between Sydney and Melbourne, although closer to Sydney. Thanks to a rivalry between the two big cities, neither of which could stomach the thought of the other becoming the capital, Canberra was selected out of compromise in 1908. At the time, Canberra was nothing more than farm land. As a result, the city is entirely planned, and the design came from the winner of an international contest. I would hate to see what the loser came up with. The Parliament building is built into the ground in the center of the city, and everything else radiates like bicycle spokes from there. Entering the city, we drove down a long straight four-lane highway lined with mid-rise commercial buildings and offices. It was a Sunday afternoon, and the place was practically a ghost town. I kept thinking that around the next corner would be a quaint little bustling street filled with restaurants and shops. If such a street was hiding somewhere in Canberra, we never found it. Aside from a few randomly placed restaurants, there was nothing but empty office buildings. I have no idea how Canberrans manage to entertain themselves in this city. I was beginning to realize why several former prime ministers had snubbed Canberra and lived in Sydney instead. A three-hour commute is apparently less daunting than the thought of actually living in Canberra. I will say, however, that the parliamentary building was quite impressive, and I thoroughly enjoyed the halls of the House of Representatives and the Senate. Our time in Canberra was short and in all fairness to the city, I'm sure it has more to offer than what we saw. It has to.

We continued up the road towards the Southern Highlands, an area of small mountains south of Sydney near the east coast. Along the way, we passed tons of sheep, nice small towns, a dried up lake filled with sheep, scenic rocky green fields, several kangaroos, and more sheep. By this time it was getting late, and so began our search for a place to stay. It was a Sunday night; we were surrounded by small towns, and finding a place for the night seemed like an easy task. Our first attempt was an old "hotel" in the town of Bundanoon. The place was a bit run down but it looked like a great spot to belly up to the dimly lit bar and soak up some local culture. The bartender informed us that there were 65 rooms upstairs, none of which were occupied that night. However, they were fully booked the night before and none of the rooms had been cleaned. I though about asking if it was possible to clean two of the rooms, but I got the feeling that was out of the question. With another option down the road we moved along figuring it was for the best. The next place had been rented out for a school trip, and on to the next town we went. We looked for a room in every hotel we passed, but nobody had clean rooms. This unfortunate pattern continued through each of the next two towns, and it had become quite obvious that maids in this part of the country refused to work on Sunday. Like several other experiences in Australia, I got the feeling that I had stepped back in time. Back to an era when things moved at a slower pace and when giving people the day off on Sunday took priority over operating a business. It was a bit frustrating, but at the same time refreshing. In the end, after what must have been close to 15 failures, we finally found a a great hotel on the outskirts of Moss Vale. It featured a cozy restaurant/bar warmed by two fireplaces and heaps of Christmas decorations. Christmas decorations you ask? Yes, July is the coldest month of the year-it feels most like the Christmas season-and Australians often celebrate something they call "Christmas in July." They put up decorations, serve meals with traditional fare, and put Rudolph the Red Nosed Kangaroo on the stereo. It is quite the experience, and despite all our troubles locating a hotel that night, things had definitely worked out for the best.

We spent the next day visiting small villages, waterfalls, and gorges throughout the Southern Highlands before making our way over to Woollongong and up the coastal highway back to Sydney. We stopped at a couple lookouts along the way, and enjoyed the spectacular stretch of road that hovers above the ocean while hugging the sea cliffs. On our three day road trip we had seen so much despite never being more than a five-hour drive away from Sydney. When most people think of Australia, they only picture the coast and the outback. Those two things certainly exist here in large quantities, but there is so much else to see including mountains, canyons, wine country, caves, waterfalls, rural countryside, etc... There are so many different environments on Sydney's doorstep, and it's great to know how easily we can escape the city should we get the urge.