You thought you knew...

It's no secret that Australia is very far from the United States, and it's no surprise that very little is known about this distant land. Australia seems to slide under the global radar, and unless you're paying attention, you might miss it. Even if you are paying attention, you won’t hear much about it. As a result, the majority of Australian knowledge held by most Americans comes from TV shows, movies, and Men at Work videos . Surprisingly, these sources are not always an accurate representation of life in Australia. Who knew? So I've decided to set the record straight. Below is a list of things we heard about Australia before moving here as well as an explanation of whether or not they are true (Keep in mind, however, that my experiences are largely limited to Sydney and may not be representative of Australia as a whole).

1. “Fosters…Australian for Beer” – It took me nine days in Australia to even see a Fosters logo, and I’ve never seen it on tap or in a store. I’ve only seen one person drinking it in the four months we have been here, and he was probably a tourist. It’s safe to say that Fosters is not Australian for beer. However, Fosters does make Carlton and VB (short for Victoria Bitter), which are two of the most popular beers in Australia.
2. “18 of the world’s 20 most poisonous animals are in Australia.” – This one may be a slight overstatement, but there is no doubt that the majority of the world’s most venomous and deadly animals are in Australia. Several of these are in the ocean, and the box jellyfish is by far the worst. 5,567 deaths have been recorded since 1954 alone. The sting is so painful that many die of heart failure and shock before reaching the shore. Not exactly a relaxing day at the beach. There is also a poisonous Cone Snail that hangs out in shells at the beach, and more than a few poisonous fish. Most of these animals are not much of a threat in Sydney, however, and they certainly don’t keep people out of the ocean.
3.“Australians don't have peanut butter, only a vaguely similar product called Peanut Cheese” – I must say that this comment terrified me before coming to Australia. I could shake off all the talk about poisonous animals, but the thought of no peanut butter was almost too much to bear. Luckily, this rumor could not have been more false. Peanut butter is alive and well in Australia. And Ben is happy.
4. “All stores close early” – For the most part, this one is true. Shopping malls generally close at 5-6pm, although they normally have extended hours one night during the week. Some grocery stores are open until 10-11pm, but you won’t find any 24-hour shopping. On the other hand, bars are allowed to stay open 24 hours a day. Priorities, priorities.
5. “G’day Mate” – Thanks to our good buddy Crocodile Dundee, most Americans think this is the most common expression in Australia. And, well…..they’re right. I thought for sure the word “Mate” would be one of those things you only heard every so often, but I was dead wrong. Everyone says it, all the time, in all situations. In such a global age where unique cultures are constantly watered down by influences from the rest of the world, the word “mate” is a constant and pleasing reminder that you are indeed in Australia.
6. “Things are very expensive in Australia” – Unfortunately, this one is true. Very true. Rent is double, if not more, than what you would expect to pay in Charleston. Gas = $1.33/liter (over $5.00/gallon). Bottle of coke = $3.50-$4.00. Case of domestic beer = $39-$49. Yes, you read that correctly. Even shoes at Payless are expensive. All the above prices are in Australian dollars, and when adjusted for the USD, they are a little lower. But not much. On a positive note, the wages here are generally higher, and the purchasing power in Sydney not far behind what you would expect in the US.
7. “Everyone is laid back and the pace of life is slow” – This is a tough one to call for two reasons. One, Sydney is the biggest city in Australia and has the fastest pace of any city on the continent. Two, I just spent seven years in one of the most laid back cities in the States, and my perception on the pace of life back home may be a bit skewed. Nevertheless, I would consider Sydney a very relaxed place. For example, happy hour often starts at 3:00 on Friday, and having a beer at a work luncheon or even a business meeting is completely normal. In addition, it’s not entirely uncommon to see someone walking down the street or into a store barefoot. Insert Kentucky joke here. And I don’t mean one of those people that are one bad break away from the homeless shelter. These are totally normal looking shoeless people. On the other hand, Sydney does not have a shortage of assholes who think 70 miles an hour is an appropriate speed for crowded city streets. It is, after all, a big city. Overall, I would have to say that for such a large city, Sydney is a very relaxing place to live. I can only imagine how laid back things must be in the more remote areas of Australia.
8. “People ride Kangaroos to work” – I highly doubt this comment was a serious one, but the perception that Kangaroos are everywhere is held by many. Although you won’t ever see a Kangaroo in Sydney, you will almost certainly run into one outside the city. On our three weekend trips away from Sydney, we have seen Kangaroos twice. They are basically like deer in the States, except a little more common.
9. “Throw another Shrimp on the barbie” – The perception that Australians love to BBQ is entirely accurate. It is an integral part of nearly all outdoor social events, and you won’t find a public park or beach without BBQ facilities. There is one major flaw with the above comment, which is that Australians don’t use the word “Shrimp.” Instead, they call them “Prawns”. However, “throw another Prawn on the barbie,” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
10. “The Sun will burn you up” – We have not been here for the summer months yet, but I’m going to have to agree with the above comment. As you have probably heard, there is a hole in the ozone layer above Australia, and there is no doubt that the sun is intense. For example on a sunny day, it will feel 20 degrees hotter if you’re standing in the sun as opposed to the shade. The air temperature can be 70 degrees, but if you are in the sun, it will feel like 90. The sun here is hot. Really hot. And I’m very afraid. If you’ve ever been to the beach with me, you are well aware of my tendency to get a sunburn. When exposed to the sun, my skin goes through the following stages: 1) white, 2) red, 3) peeling, 4) white. There is apparently some deficiency in my DNA that prevents my skin from tanning. Needless to say, you should invest in sunscreen. My usage alone will boost sales by at least 15% this summer.

I’m sure there are several American perceptions of Australia that I have forgotten to mention. If you can think of any, list them in the comments. That is of course assuming, that someone is actually reading this.

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